But I still love you
Written by John Swartz
I stumbled upon you today,
You came drifting into my place,
The angry storm brought me to you,
I know that I was brought to you,
Destined in the storm clouds above.
This uncertainty riddled my whole being,
Seedlings of dark doubt flowed in me,
Feeding the hollow unfaithful side of me,
I hold back this miserable feeling,
I cry my mantra out but my heart does not care.
"This is not real."
People fuel their doubts in everyone's life,
Slithering around me and penetrating my wisdom,
Your voice breaks me away back to you,
A light switching on and guiding me to you,
You are a wanderer - a Nomad like myself,
I know time has caught up to you,
Exhaustion and Age once your travelling companions;
They are long gone and now death walks with you.
"I have walked with Lions,
I have spoke with a Whirlwind,
I have carved my words in a mountain,
I have lost a thousand children;
I have killed my son."
I struggle with the knowledge you'd given me,
There is so much insight to your words - I am lost,
Weight of years are laced on your lips,
A fool would ignore your stories and tales;
My focus memorised as you weave me a tale,
I heard everything the story of all but remembered none.
Speaking in turn I go deep touching at my depths,
I pour myself to you letting you into my life,
You smiled nodding in understanding actually interested,
Hours past and I am spent shaking in remorse,
Never have I given myself to anyone so deeply,
You do not cry or laugh but your hand holds mine fatherly.
"I have fought millions of battles,
I have slain thousands in my name,
I have judged innocents guilty,
I have forgiven murderers of malice,
I have brought my son back from the dead."
Angels did not sing or dance when you left,
They fell around you in droplets in the rain,
Your old hat tattered and worn - suiting you,
They dripped off of it and gently touched me,
No more lies or misdirection as you talk,
Tears fall on your weathered skin as you say Good-bye.
"I have guided millions,
I have seen all that is,
I have seen all that will,
I have lost everything."
I know this was fated to happen,
Your final words stab deep into me,
My youth finally being taken away,
A friend takes them away into the storm,
Gone from me so quickly.
"I have lost everything,
But I still love you."